Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to me! yey!..wow I hope I can really say that im happy because its my birthday but it doesn't feel that way. I know, I know im being ungrateful here because im forgetting about the other things that is important like being with your family, we have food, shelter and all that, but what I am referring to as happiness is the kind of happiness that you can only find with in yourself. My 32 years living here on earth has thought me that Living a life without restriction has its consequence, that without my dad our family will not be that exciting, that not because you finish school you are guaranteed that you will succeed in life,  that you should not take everything for granted and most of all if you love your life then take care of your health.

So how did I celebrate my birthday? well My family and I knowledge that this day is special but other than that...its just the usual, I woke up, eat breakfast while watching dragon ball, eat lunch while watching the ryzza mae, lay in my bed while watching eat bulaga and other soap, then eat miryenda while watching tv then eat dinner with the family which is not a good experience because I cant bear to hear how my dad think of him self as better that anyone else...and now im writing on this blog.... Very exciting day indeed. 

I sound so miserable, I sound like I have the most boring the most unfortunate life. Partly that is true I will not be like this if ONLY I have the self control over the things that made me happy...but no, I am on this position and there is nothing that I can do to undo what I did. Now I have to live a life of restriction and fear, I dont even know if i can work at a call center anymore.

I just checked my facebook and there's a lot of birthday greetings, they are so happy for me...I hope I can be happy for myself as well. Thank you guys, somehow reading your messages is the highlight of my day.

Random Thoughts

• Im hungry but im not in the mood to eat
• I cant stand the voice of father saying non sense things and I hate his attitude that he thinks he is better than everybody. I hate it when he argue with my mom and tell her that she in worthless
• I wish that my mom divorce my father a long time ago, life would have been better for both of us
• I hate that as of now I dont have the physical strength to find a job
• I hate that I no longer have the savings to support this family
• I wish I could turn back time so I can change somethings about me
• I hate that I am hating right now
• I hate that I always feel weak and dizzy
• I hate that as of now I haven't had my treatment
• I hate that my nose have rashes again
• I hate that I cold and cough

Dear Papa God, help me get rid all this hatred in me. help me see the good in things. Help me to be more understanding and give me all the patient I need to survive.

High Blood

Its been 4 days now and my dad is still in the hospital due to high blood. I have to postpone my appointment for my treatment because of what happen. I am the only on in the family who can be with my dad in times like this. Its hard because even if I feel weak at times I have to be strong. I have no one who I can ask for help. The only thing that I am thankful is that even if my immune system is weak and most of the time I am in the hospital that I am not acquiring any sickness from the other patients, I always see to it that before I enter the hospital that I have my face mask on. Anyway I hope my dad cooperate with the procedure because he is very hard headed and I no longer have the budget to support him if he will stay longer in the hospital because he is not cooperating.

2nd day on the hospital

and some other people who are sick as well ^_^

Lorna and Gilder's wedding

It was a special day for Lorna and Gilder last July 19, 2014 since its their wedding day \(◦'⌣'◦)/ 

And I am lucky to be part of it. I was able to see some old friends from CJPS and over all it was a fun day!

The couple's first kiss and with the pastor.

She getting ready for the big day!

With Kuya Romy ^_^

and with my beautiful lola Joanna ^__^

Para lang kaming a attend ng prom hehe

me and my partner is the one in charge of lighting the candle

Lola Joan giving her special message to the wonderful couple ^_^

Appreciate Life more

I thank God kasi I was able to go to church again yesterday, its been a while since nung huli kong simba. I was focus yesterday and my mind is not that distracted. I told my self that I will and make it a habit to go to church every Sunday just like what I used to do before. 

These past few weeks I have learned to appreciate the simple joy of eating. After ko mag suffer sa singaw ng ilang araw na halos lugaw at goto lang kinakain ko everyday na appreciate ko yung value of eating good food. Ngayon every time I eat I enjoyed it more and I thank God that I can eat with out pain. Last Saturday I went to mega mall for my check up and I promised my self that after the singaw challenge I will eat spaghatti sa jollibee, because during the time na may singaw ako I saw a group of kids eating jolly spaghetti and they are so into it (na ingit talaga ako), so I promise my self na pag magaling na sigaw ko I will eat spaghetti to celebrate...and I did...It was the best tasting spaghetti that I have tasted for the longest time, I took my time  eating and savoring its flavor as I slowly chew on it with out feeling any pain. I was in heaven at that time ^__^ not to mention the fact that I also have my favorite jollibee fries...It was the best miryenda ever and I keep on telling my self...this is it Ryan...this is the reward of your pain last week.

And this would be my next target!

Another realization occur to me yesterday, because I got sick this past few months I lost a lot of weight and some how it affects me especially when people would say to you "oh your so thin...what happen?" it sucks but what can I do? How I wish I can just eat all day and then by tomorrow I will gain weight again and be back to old me...but it doesn't work that way...as Augustus Waters would say "The world is not wish-granting factory." so deal with it!

Me March of 2014              and               me now July 2014 

Masyado ko binababa sarili ko kasi im not used to seeing my self this thin. But then yesterday after church I was walking on my way home then I saw this father and son. His son is way skinnier than I am (like super thin that if the wind blows really hard he would be carried a way), I think if I put my self beside him I will look much healthier than him. Then I realize, here I am stressing my self over on how I look when I should be thankful that I am not on his position, im sure that kid has something way worst than what I am feeling right now. I hate myself for having this habit of making a small problem bigger that it was, that I sometimes I forget that the world has much bigger problem than I have. I should stop pitying myself too much over little things and just be THANKFUL that I am alive and somewhat healthy and that I am with my family and we are all good and we are eating three times a day and that I have the time to write on this blog and so on... 

So I promise that if I ever I am feeling down and weary and I think my life is full of bad decision and full of shit to just smile and look up and thank God that I am a live that what ever shit I am going through right now that it will all pass and I will survive it and that there is a rainbow after the rain ^__^

So that's it for now

Yuri xoxo


(I would appreciate it if you can post a comment on this post just for me to know that there is someone who care enough to read my post ^_^ thank you and God Bless!)

Atelier Versace Fall 2014-15

One of my all time favorite designer is Donatella Versace. I am always amaze with her creation especially the gowns, I love it. I also like her summer collection for men. This time Donatella took us to the Fifties for the atelier showcase, but with a sexy and gothic twist! Here are some of the dresses that I like ^_^

My Super Mom

Best Mom ever!

Another stressful and depressing day for me, thank God my Mom is at my side calming me down. I have been thinking a lot and freaking my self out that I have dengue fever again because of the many mosquito bites that i have on my legs and foot. Not to mention the problem that I have that I just don't have the strength to tell my mom about it. It's just to much for me to handle. And when that happen all I can do is cry so I can let it out. My mom is just out side my room and probably narinig nya na umiiyak ako, she went into my room, sit beside me and rub my back and tell me that everything will be ok. Its a special moment to me kasi I did not expect that... I was really moved on what she did.

When I think about it, my mom also went through a lot especially nung nag ka roon siya ng glaucoma, her left eye is no longer functioning, her right eye naman can still see pero super labo, but despite of her current condition she remain strong. Another challenge sa kanya is nung nabanga sya ng motor and pag banga sa kanya na pa luhod sya at tumama yung tuhod nya sa bato, so now hirap na sya mag lakad, binili ko sya ng knee pad para pang support sa tuhod nya and naka katulong naman yun sa kanya. Despite everything that had happen to her she still manage to be a mother and a wife to my dad, She can go to the market alone with her condition and she can still cook delicious food. She is always telling me that she needs to be strong for me and for her family.

This picture is taken last December 2013

So if I think about it, mas lucky pa ako sa mom ko kasi im just dealing with my current situation and my depression, its just that sometimes its too much for me to handle lalo na pag sunod sunod yung ng yayari sa akin. 

Thank you mom, mahal na mahal  kita, you are my friend, my strength and my hope. Thank you for loving me and accepting me and I am sorry I am a Big disappointment to you and dad, even if you don't see it that way...kung naging maayos lang ako...I am happy that I was able to tell you what my problem is...I dont need to worry anymore. Sorry kung minsan masungit ako :(

She is my Super Mom! I Love you Mommy ko :)

Memorable date and Realization

Waiting for my turn...

July 5, 2014 would be one of the date that I will always remember. Buti nalang I have a friend with me that day kasi naging emotional ako. Thank you Rudy, I know I can count on you, I know that no matter what happen you will be there for me and for my mom. Thank you for calming me down yesterday.

Indeed life is full of challenges and my challenges just keep on getting better. I think the Lord is trying to accomplish something that is why he is giving me all this challenges. I guess he want me to be strong and hold on to my faith which I always fail to do. In times of hardship I often breakdown. 

I thought I will be able to accomplish everything yesterday, but I still need to do one test and that will determine if I need to go under medication, which im sure I will. The cost of the lab test is very expensive. I no longer have the money to do it. But I have to do it. I guess its the final step to free my self with this misery.

Now that im going through the "singaw" challenge. I learned to appreciate the things that I took for granted. yung simpleng pag kain, If you have singaw all over your mouth ang hirap kumain, all I can eat is goto and lugaw, if I eat something hard... grabe sa sakit. Hindi ko tuloy makain yung masasarapa na pag kain na ni luluto sa bahay. Kahapon nung pauwi na kami sa mega mall there is this group of kids who are eating jolly spaghetti and they are really

enjoying it, na ingit talaga ako. I told my self that after this singaw challenge I will eat all the food na hindi ko na kain nung may singaw ako at isa na dun yung jolly spaghetti sasamahan ko pa ng fries and peach mango pie! Pangako yan!

Till next post!

Yuri xoxo

It's July!

Happy Birthday Dad!

For my first entry this July I would like to start off by Greeting my Dad a Happy Birthday! I know you don’t know about this blog but I want you to know that even though your not the perfect dad for me and even though I hate your attitude sometimes, your still my dad and I love and care for you! Thank you for taking care of our family. My wish to you is that you have more birthdays to come and stay healthy.

I am very optimistic that this month will be a good month for me. I know I will be able to get back on my feet again and regain the strength that I lost. I learned that the most important of all is your health, its hard if you are sick all the time, I don’t want to be hospitalized again or experience a super high fever that will make you feel miserable and you will just wish that you die instead of feeling that way. I know I did some stupid things in the past that’s why I am on this position but I have a choice to change it, and I choose to be healthy. I know money is important but my health is MORE important than anything else.

So my action plan to be healthy is that I will try to go back on exercising or I will just go with my dad for an early morning jog, if time will permit I want to go back and workout again.

My next action plan is to find a job that is just near to my place, mas madali kasi at less hassle,  if only BCC don’t have that much paper work maybe I will consider going back to teaching… … … but no haha there is a fun side in teaching but most of the time its paper work so…No! haha

So that’s it for now

 
Yuri xoxo

I have been through hell last week.

Last week, that was Thursday (June 26) morning, I woke up with a really bad headache, akala ko it will just be a one day headache pero it lasted for 3 days, it was the kind of headache na nakakapang hina ng katawan na may kasama na lagnat. I knew that its bad kasi hindi sya na kukuha ng simpleng pag inom ng Biogesic. I ask my mom to go with me to one of the doctor for a check up, the result, well I have dengue fever, kumuha sila ng blood sample and the result my blood platelet is getting low as well as my white blood cell. The doctor recommend that I should get my self confine to a hospital but I refuse ( I no longer have the money to be hospitalized), I told the doctor that I will just stay at home and if nothing happen to me after taking all the meds that he will prescribed then that's the time na mag papa admit ako sa hospital and he agreed. After visting the clinic mom and I bought all the meds that are needed to help me recover, we went home, and I feel more sick after taking all the meds. That timeI wanted to give up, I  keep on asking the Lord to just get me and end all this misery so that I will not be in pain any more, but he never did. I thank God for my loving Mother in which I get my strength to fight she never leave my side, she prayed for me and took care of me. I survived my Saturday night (June 28) with the care of my mom.

I woke up Sunday (June 29) morning and I am feeling wonderful, I guess all the meds that I took help me recovered. Mom and I went back to the clinic to check if there is an improvement and thank God my blood platelet went up as well as my WBC so no need to be hospitalized (yey!). My mom is very happy she said that all of her prayers had been answered! And I thank God for not leaving my side, I know that there is more to come, I know there are more challenges along the way, but I know that He will always be there to guide me and help. As I always remind my self to Keep Calm, Jesus Loves You...

At eto ang mga ininom ko everyday

I also pray to God na I recover fast so that I can work again. I have to admit that I miss going to BCC, I miss all the students (not including 4th yr SFX), I miss all the fun in the faculty room, but I dont miss the paper works hehe. Na touch ako when one of my BSP posted this on her Facebook...

 

Sabi nga nila pag naalala ka ng isang tao kahit sa isang simpleng bagay it means daw na may impact kang nagawa sa buhay nya. So thank you Hermie ^_^ 

Papa God I do hope yung next sakit challenge nyo sa akin medyo tagalan nyo na pag bibigay ^_^ I have been through hell this past couple of months. I pray na maibalik ko yung dating ako at yung mga dating nagagawa ko tulad ng bonding with Lola Joan and ate Mau...I know it will happen I know you will let it happen ^_^ Plan ko din I labas sina Mom and Dad para naman makapag thank you ako sa lahat ng pag aalaga at pag intindi nila sa akin..

Yuri

Simple Joys

Before I go to sleep, I just want to thank God for all the blessings that he had given me for this day.

I know that one day I will be able to smile like this again.

Simple Joys

1. Sinigang na baboy na ulam ^_^ 
2. I am eating more, bumabalik na yung appetite ko sa pag kain.
3. Na enjoy kong panuorin yung Suffer Sireyna haha.
4. I had a nice long bath today, I was able to scrub all those dead skin cell.
5. Watched 3 episode of The Moon embracing the Sun. Im so happy to see Kim Soo-hyun and his pamatay na smile hehe lakas maka good vibes!
6. Pa wala na yung ubo ko and my medicine are all working.
7. Spending my day with my parents and just resting all day. Yun lang na mimiss ko BCC :(
8. Thank you Lord at im gaining my strength back.

1 month as a sub teacher...It was fun...but I will not do it again.

Its time to reflect again, time to think of all the good things that had happen this past few weeks. I have to say that last week is a bitter sweet week for me. Bitter because my 1 month job as a teacher reminds me why I never like the job. I love to teach, I love to share the knowledge that I have, I love to talk, I love to ask questions and I love to listen. I also love to joke around during discussion and make my student smile. The only thing I hate about teaching is that the work load is heavy, you have to do this, compute this, study this and that, not to mention the long hours that you need to talk and of course you can not be an effective teacher if your just sitting on the table, you need to stand and walk. Then at the end of the day you feel like you have used up all your energy and when its time to receive your pay check, well... nakaka lungkot...yun kasi ang baba :(...  I salute all the teachers of BCC what their doing is not a joke. I just hope that all the student know how hard working their teacher is, I'm sure they will appreciate their teacher more.

Now its time to reminisce on the FUN side of teaching. The things that I will miss about my job as a teacher is being surrounded by teachers, when ever I am in the faculty room and all the teacher is there it made me feel so happy just watching them and hearing them joke around and listen to their funny stories about a certain student or situation. I will miss all the gay jokes and all the green jokes haha. One more that I will miss is my advisory class my Blessed Savina Petrilli, those batch of kids were the best. They are one of the reason why I enjoyed teaching. I know naging masungit ako sa kanila but that is to discipline them and I do hope that they understand. From now on I will just see their pictures in facebook but non the less happy na ako don kasi kahit sa facebook makikita ko sila.

I am not closing my door to teaching, siguro other school will give me better experience in the future. Pero now I have made up my mind, hindi muna ako mag tuturo, I need to find a job na mamahalin ko talaga at ok ang sweldo hehe

Here are the pictures of my Advisory class, my Blessed Savina Petrilli

Group 4

Group 3

Group 2

Group 1

 Thank you Guys! I will miss seeing you everyday...My memories with you guys will always be in my heart.

Its not for me...

As early as now, I already have my decision, teaching is NOT for me. Yung last week has been so tiring, every time I go home para akong cell phone sa super drain na yung battery. Not to mention the fact na ang init sa mga classroom, you have to discuss a topic and stand for 1 hour, tapos  mag pa pa galit ka pa ng mga student. Di bale sa na kung madaling pag sabihan eh hindi! mga Bartikal yung mga bata lalo na yung mga 4th year. Every time na pupunta ako sa 4th year naka ka walang gana. Tapos pag dating mo sa bahay ang dami mo pang gagawin, mag aaral ka ng lesson mo for tomorrow, tapos me lesson plan. Hindi katulad nung nag tatrabaho ako sa center na after my shift tapos na, wala ng gagawin.

I can't wait for this month to finish...ayaw ko na, eto may ubot sipon na naman ako dahil sa napag tutuyuan ako ng pawis, hindi bali sana kung ganung ka lakas pa yung immune system ko eh ilang bwan din ako sasakit sakit.

My fear is that after ko mag sub, baka may i pa sub pa sa akin na iba.

My last post is about finding what makes you happy so that hindi mo feel na work yung ginagawa mo... but right now I am not in a happy place. Well next month I will go ba to working sa call center, sana may pang umaga ako makita.

Love what you do

I just finished watching Anne Curtis interview with E and I can say that her life is not easy, she has a lot of schedule, a lot of event to attend to etc. Its very tiring. Pero si Anne na e enjoy nya, she said that "when you love what your doing, then it will not feel like its work" and I was like, that's the problem with, I cant find a job that I enjoy doing, yeah I enjoy going to work because na doon yung mga kaibigan ko pero yung actual work it self, well hindi ko sya feel. 9 years of my call center life most of the time I stayed longer not because of the account but because of the friends I made. Pero sabi nga nila sa call center "you have to cope up with change". One day your friends are there and then next thing you know the need to be transferred, and when your friend is not around then you start to feel the stress of what your doing.

I envy my friend Joanna, she is a teacher and she enjoy what she's doing. She loves teaching kids, she is very patient and no matter how busy or hectic the schedule is, she always manage to full it off. 

I need to find that Happiness, sabi ko nga sa sarili ko, this job that I have accepted is to test if I will enjoy teaching again, if not then I have to look for another one. Maybe I will not find my happiness as long as I am an employee so maybe I should try something else...

Teacher for a Month

On Monday balik pag tuturo na naman ako, kahapon when we our having our orientation ang daming mga ala ala yung nag babalik. Alam mo yung feeling na pag pasok mo palang sa school na ramdaman mo yung feeling na "shit eto na naman tayo, makukulit na bata, lesson plan, grades...Sigh" Pero somehow I miss it. 

I told my self that maybe this one month job is God's way of letting me test the water. Will I enjoy it or will I not. 

Buti na lang yung coordinator ko is si Curach (my college friend, he is the one who recomend me for the job), at least hindi ako mahihiyang mag tanong. I have an advisory class and I will be teaching grade 8 and 4th year student.

HR Orientation

The AP dept faculty room.

My Schedule

My Class Schedule

I will be starting na on Monday and I am excited to meet my advisory class, I hope I still have it with me, that charm and kindness that the student are looking for in a teacher...I am hoping that I get their Trust and their Respect.

Garnier Light Complete Multi-Action Whitening Cream

This will be my review for Garnier Light Complete Multi-Action Whitening Cream.

So after a very stressful month, na stress din ang face ko ^_^. I have pimple all over my face and that time I did not bother to do anything because of some circumstances. Anyway, I was able to get back on my feet again and its time for me to fix what happen to my face. So the pimples are all gone pero nag leave ito ng mga blemishes and it was the worst thing that had happen on my face, never in my 32 years na nag karoon ako ng ganitong ka daming blemishes. I need to do something kasi it might worsen and masira na talaga yung face ko.

Then I saw this commercial...

I am still not convince about it so what I did is that I looked up for some reviews and so far lahat naman ng nabasa ko is positive. I guess its up to me to find out if it will work.

So I started using Garnier Light Complete Multi-Action Whitening Cream on May 29, 2014. Before I use the product, I took a picture of my blemishes so that I can see if there is an improvement as I used the product.

Pasintabi po kasi hindi ka ayaaya ang makikita nyo hehe ^_^

May 29, 2014, bago ko gamitin ang Garnier Light Complete Multi-Action Whitening Cream. You can just see how stress my face is, kahit ako medyo na diri sa face ko... haha ^_^

So after a few weeks...

June 8, 2014. I can see that there is some improvement on my face pero syempre nan doon parin yung mga dark spots and that is what im hoping to eliminate.

Siguro kung naging consistent ako sa pag apply nung product mas makikita ko agad yung result, there are times kasi na when I'm just at home hindi ako nag lalagay ng kahit anung product sa face ko. Pag sinipag naman ako I apply it every night before I go to sleep. I can say that this product is also good moisturizer, kasi when I woke up and look my self in the mirror there is this glow... haha na hindi ko ma explain ^_^.

So now to update my review for this product, here is the most recent picture that I took and you can see that slowly my blemishes are fading away! yey!

July 2, 2014, I still have some dark spots pero you can see the improvement on my face, wala na yung mga bumps na parang pimple and kaunti na lang din yung mga dark spot.

So what can I say about Garnier Light Complete Multi-Action Whitening Cream?

• Its a great product and I will continue to use it until there is no more dark spots on my face. 
• This product is also a good moisturizer that you can use at night, but I don't recommend that you use this during the day especially if you have an oily skin.
• Its has a lot of ingredients that is good for the skin. 

I give this product a thumbs up!

I do hope that my review on this product will help you in deciding what product to use to help you on your skin problem.

So that's it for now ^_^!

Yuri xoxo

Using time wisely!

Well, my interview went well, I guess they really need a substitute teacher for a month. I was interview by my high school teacher Mr. Suinan (im not sure with the spelling of his last name). He is still cute as ever, he look much nicer now hehe. Mas matagal pa yung pina ligo ko at pinag ayos sa interview ko. Kala ko tagalog tagalog yung interview buti nalang marami akong baong english haha naka pag paandar talaga ako and I guess na impress naman siya haha. After that I went home and re tell what happen to my mom and she is happy. I am happy kahit na 1 month lang yun at least my work na ako. Thank you po Lord ^_^

After re telling the story to my mom, I went back to my room and decide to use my time wisely. I research on the effectiveness of enrolling your child to a tutorial center rather that hiring a private tutor. 

And eto ang naging resulta 

 

O diba...so after ni send ko na kay lola Joan for her to check. Pwede na ulit ako manuod ng korean drama.

Sana malaki maitulong nito sa Tutorial center namin...